March 2015.
This is my favourite time of year. Whether you approach it from an astrological, spiritual or religious angle or if it's just simply an opportunity to give the space you live in a good clean, there's no doubt that it's a time of transition and growth. There is a perceptible shift in the landscape, trees that have stood barren for months blossom before our eyes and the earth seems to breathe again. I love the symbolism of this season, the earth is always alive but it's as if it has been sleeping, gathering strength to face the next phase of its cycle. The same can be said for us, even when we feel as if the colour has drained from our leaves, that some part of us has died, the core of who we are is constant and ready to spring in to action when we feel ready. There is always an opportunity for regeneration, to rise again and face another day, turning ourselves towards the sun and allowing the light to help us grow.
On reflection, I wonder if it isn't a coincidence that a handful of events I would consider life changing have happened to me in the past around this time. Easter feels more like the turning of a New Year, it's not about resolutions but I find I take a good hard look at myself as I try to let go of negative thoughts, patterns or behaviours and start afresh (maybe it has something to do with being an April baby?). Sometimes, if you have battled with the same issue over and over, which in my case would be a diagnosis I have no control over, the act of surrendering it 'up' can be so powerful. It's not about giving in, it's actually about taking back your power, instead of handing it away every time you chastise yourself or have self deprecating thoughts. I have felt less of a woman for being infertile, not good enough, which in turn has made me feel weak and helpless. Whilst gaining perspective and strength, I have also surrendered up what I cannot change and have prayed for the faith to trust in what will be, who I am now and who I may yet become.
This Easter, no doubt I will be spending some time under a tree. I have always liked the outdoors but had never experienced the healing properties of nature until I went on a spiritual retreat back in 2010 a few months after my diagnosis. I was desperately searching for some peace and thanks to the guidance of a wonderful couple and the programme they ran down in Somerset, I found more than I thought possible. Ever since then, trees have been my fail-safe choice for finding that peace within me. I'll be writing about that experience in more detail in a later blog. For now, I'll leave you with a poem inspired by my time there and suggest one thing to you....
As the days get longer again and the temperature starts to slowly climb, try and take a little time to get outside. Find a quiet spot and take some long, deep breaths (I had forgotten how effective this simple act is)....when I'm still enough I can hear the whispered message of Spring...."It's time to let go, to feel at peace, a time to grow and simply be."
Happy Easter x
THE TREE.
'I don't think that we are dissimilar to trees. Our souls, like the roots and the trunk have been here for many many years. Our selves as we exist from day to day are the branches. Although our core is strong, solid and constant we must remember that it is natural to be changed and moved by the elements that are the experiences and challenges of life. No matter how far we feel pushed we have a resilience and a strength. It's about allowing ourselves to bend and move, safe in the knowledge that we are always connected to our roots.........'
Written October 2011 - Nia